A guest post by Efrat Shemesh
Growing up in Israel I was not confused about my Jewish identity.
My mom is Jewish so I am Jewish, clear and simple.
I celebrated every holiday, in a ”light” way, fasted on Yom Kippur only as a challenge, drank on Purim, why not? And I did not eat Chametz on Passover because it’s a good diet.
Following my move to Canada I continued my ‘meaningless’ Jewish practices. I did everything without even thinking about the meaning of it. I felt like I had to in order to continue my childhood customs, to feel home. Jewish identity was never part of the discussion.
Then I had my Zoe. We chose a name that is easy to pronounce in English, Hebrew and French and that has a meaning; “life”, but not a Hebrew name per-say. Suddenly, Jewish holidays had a different meaning. Living in a place where Erev Rosh Hashan, Yom Kippur or Shabbat mornings are just like any other day, I started to give additional meanings to these days. Kiddush, Candles and Tzdaka started to get additional attention in our household. Zoe became interested and excited about Jewish traditions and holidays (I have to credit and thank JPPS CPE for it).
But then Zoe started to be aware of other customs and asked to be part of them. She asked to go ‘trick or treating”, she mentioned that on Kislev we celebrate Chanukkah and Christmas, and she argued that Hashem is one of Canada’s founders cause he is human and he can build houses and plant trees.
I have decided to go along with this so-called confusion. I discussed with Zoe the fact that we are Jewish and therefore, we dress-up in Purim, we get presents in Chanukah and Santa won’t come to our house cause he is not invited (btw, Zoe was happy with not having Santa over). I took this opportunity to discuss with her why her sister’s teacher wears a veil, why men can marry men and women can marry women, why mom does the Kiddush and why everyone else eats pork and we do not.
Zoe also knows what is “ve’ahavta lere’acha kamocha”, she gives Tzdaka, and volunteers on Tzdaka days.
Then I understood why raising a confused child is not a bad thing. I believe that my children will grow up respecting diversity, loving the freedom of choice, and, believe it or not, will be proud Jews, because they were confused.
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